Bat 'er Up!

Throughout the month of August, our family went absolutely batty over bats. Over a period of about 3 weeks, we had 7 bats appear out of nowhere.

Yes, you heard that right. From cellar to garret, we were surrounded! You never saw a more nervous family! As evening crept in upon us with velvet softness, we knew our peaceful evening could be shattered at any moment by that creepy swoosh of a bat's shadow.

Josh killed a bat in the attic, Dad killed one in the second story, several met their maker on the main level, others were killed in the basement. It was beginning to look appalling! How could we continue to live in a bat infested house?

There was one Sunday morning when we were all ready to leave for church. Abi rushed downstairs exclaiming, "There's a bat up there!" Dad, the hero, went up armed with the latest in bat killers- a tennis  racket. Lo, and behold, somebody shouted that there was one in the basement! Nate, the second hero of the hour, ran down with another tennis racket. Nate hit his bat a good one, but it crept away, hopefully to die somewhere. Dad sent his careening to kingdom come.

Dad had left for a Minister's Retreat, leaving the rest of us at home. We hadn't seen any bats for awhile, but were still waiting for a ghostly reappearance.

One peaceful evening found us minding our own business, when Sam came screeching in from the Kitchen, "There's a bat in there!" None of us believed him. Why should there be a bat? But he insisted.

The greatest bat battle in the history of bat vs human was about to begin.

Moments later, Mom, KK and I were creeping furtively up to the kitchen doorway, staying low, just in case... "There it is!" Sam was right. All too right. To our dismay, and chagrin, we realized that we had brilliantly placed all the tennis rackets in the kitchen entry, just so that they'd be handy.

Mom bravely volunteered to risk her life getting the rackets- to my shame, none of us vied for that position. There happened to be a tote in our living room that evening. I snatched up the lid and gravely handed it to Mom.

Our brave, sacrificial mother marched, rather cautiously, to the doorway, only to be sent ducking and screeching behind her tote lid as the miscreant swung into sight. The rest of us stood behind her, laughing, but still not volunteering for the office. Faster than you can read this sentence, the rodent swooped in on us, sending every man to the floor.

Then began a series of screams and laughter as he swooped and glided through the room. Now that the coast was clear, Mom rushed for the rackets, coming back in triumph with two of them.

Somehow, I ended up with the tote lid and Mom and KK armed themselves with rackets. The great moment had come. That bat hadn't a chance in a million.

Picture with me in your minds eye- Josh, calmly reading, a sly smile playing across his face, Abi and Sam taking cover in the stairway, Nate napping upstairs and three mighty (scared) hunters.

Faster than lightning, we leapt into action- swinging, ducking, and screaming. KK was in the front lines, cool and calculating, while Mom and I backed him up.

In the ensuing scramble, Nate was rudely awakened upstairs. As he tried to clear the cobwebs in his brain, the screaming and bumping only increased in volume. Slowly, through his sleep numbed consciousness, he realized that one of those diabolical creatures had made its unwelcome appearance among us. That bad boy just leaned back in bed again with a sigh, "Sounds like everything's under control..." Ya right.

Back downstairs, the battle raged fiercely. The bat took one more swing around the room, narrowly missing Mom's head. I swung gallantly for him with my tote lid, missing the intended target, and knocking Mom a good one, right on the top of her head.

Being girls, we collapsed in a fit of laughter. Mom wasn't hurt at all- thankfully I only had a tote lid! As KK's backups were helpless, he had to pit his brawn against the bat. With one calm and wily swing of his racket, the bat went flying across the room, slammed into the front door and slid down to the ground, momentarily stunned. I ran over and held the disgusting thing down till KK came and finished him off. Bat number six had finally met his Waterloo.

The bat influx slowed down considerably after our spirited battle. I think that news got around that the old house on 620th street wasn't very hospitable. We shall see, come spring...